True Life: I'm A Bridal Consultant {A No B.S. Guide to Finding the Perfect Dress}

So, you are engaged. Yay! Not only that, but you are ready to plan your wedding. Even bigger YAY! There are tons of guides out there on other blogs, websites, and in magazines for planning your overall wedding, but they never tend to get the part about buying your wedding gown exactly right. That's where I come in!

The hardest thing about shopping for a wedding gown is that most people (hopefully) only go through the process once in their lives. Sometimes girls luck out, and get to learn from the experiences of their close friends and/or relatives. However, everyone's experience when finding their wedding gown is unique. Trust me, I don't think I've ever seen the same bridal appointment twice!

{SIDE NOTE: No, it's not usually like "Say Yes to the Dress:"
Recently, TV shows like "Say Yes To the Dress" have started documenting the process of finding the perfect gown. While I love the show for its sheer entertainment value (Love you, Randy Fenoli!), it has started to skew our brides perception of what the process of finding a wedding dress really entails. Please note that Kleinfeld Bridal is located in a huge metropolitan area (a very unique market). It is the largest bridal store in the U.S., and most importantly, the appointments that air on television are chosen because they are the most dramatic of all of the many appointments that go on in the store!}

So what should you do to have the most pleasant experience possible when shopping for your wedding gown? (Other than visiting Solutions Bridal, of course...Oops, I promised no B.S. Sorry, no more shameless plugs.)

1. DO SOME OTHER WEDDING PLANNING FIRST: There are some elements of your wedding that I would strongly recommend having nailed down before you step foot in a bridal salon:

• Have your wedding date set. {NOTE: Plan on shopping for your wedding dress about one year before this date at the earliest, and 6 months before this date at the very latest. Special order wedding dresses can take 6-8 months from the day you order! That means pretty much every store except David's Bridal, folks!)
• Have your ceremony and reception venues set, or at least narrowed down. The dress needs to work with the venue, especially if you are planning to do any part of your wedding outdoors. If you are doing a destination wedding, make sure you know what the weather is typically like around the date of your wedding.

(Some other good things to think about are whether the wedding is going to be formal or informal, what color scheme you will be using, how many people you will be having, etc.)

2. SET A BUDGET: Make sure you discuss with all of the necessary parties not just the budget for the overall wedding, but for the dress itself. In 2007, the average wedding budget, not including the honeymoon, was $27,882. The average amount spent on a wedding gown was $1,317. The biggest unknown for most of the brides that I work with is how much a wedding dress costs. Some things to consider:

• Quality matters: In this day and age it is extremely difficult to find a new, quality wedding gown for under $1,000. I know, it sounds like a lot of money, especially compared to that $25 top that you just bought at the mall. However, with wedding gowns you tend to get what you pay for. Good quality fabrics like silk satin, some taffetas, organza, and particularly lace can increase the price of a gown. Quality bead work can also cost a pretty penny, especially if hand sewn. When you think about the fact that your gown will probably be the most photographed piece of clothing that you ever own, these things tend to make a difference.
  
• Prices do vary depending on where you shop. Major metropolitan areas tend to carry dresses at a higher price point than those in smaller, or more medium sized cities.
  
• The dresses in my previous post, "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things," ranged from around $2,000 (Watter's) up to around $7000 (Kenneth Pool).

3. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT*: One of the most frequently asked questions that I get asked over the phone at our store is, "Do I need an appointment for ____?" The answer to this question is always "yes." Not only will you get better service, but more than likely you will need the help of a bridal consultant to answer questions, help you figure out how to try on dresses, pull fabric swatches, call the designer, make recommendations...etc. etc. That goes not just for bridal, but for bridesmaids, accessories, fittings, and pretty much everything else.
*This applies to most (non-chain) bridal salons.

4. CONSIDER VERY CAREFULLY WHO YOU WANT TO BRING TO YOUR APPOINTMENT: I don't think I can emphasize enough how important this decision is. When it comes to shopping for your wedding gown, more is NOT the merrier. You only want to bring people to your bridal appointment who know you and your personal style the best. It is also very important to only bring people with a very positive attitude, and who have your best interests at heart. (ie. That bridesmaid who may be a little bit jealous that you are tying the knot before her...Probably best to leave her at home.) Moms in particular are tricky. If Mom is supportive, not overly opinionated, and honestly just wants you to be happy, then definitely bring her. If Mom is going to insert her own opinion, has very different tastes than you do, and is very controlling, either try not to bring her, or schedule an appointment to go look around and narrow down your favorites before you bring her along.

{SIDE NOTE: Please! Please! Please! Do not set yourself up for disappointment when it comes to Mom's reaction to you in "the dress." Only a very, very small percentage of moms cry when their daughters find "the one." Most of the time they are trying to figure out your opinion of a dress before they react. If you are vocal about loving a dress, and become very emotional, the more likely they will be to do so as well.}

5. DO YOUR RESEARCH: Look around in magazines and online to see what kind of styles and designers you like (AND don't like.) Try to find price ranges for your favorites as well. Take note of whether or not you like details like lace or beading. Try to narrow down a specific silhouette. However, understand that once you start trying on gowns your opinion may change. Something that looks great on a model in a highly edited picture may not look good once you have it on. You may realize that that strapless gown looks great on you, even though nothing in your closet is strapless. Express your opinion to your consultant, but try to have an open mind.

6. MENTALLY PREPARE YOURSELF TO FIND "THE ONE:" Here is a little known fact: Most girls find their dress within the first five wedding gowns that they try on. Sometimes it's more, particularly if you go to a salon with lower quality customer service. Knowing that fact is the first step in mentally preparing yourself to find your dress. Another thing that you must know: There sometimes is not a grand "AH HA!!" moment when a bride finds her gown. Most of the time it really depends on your personalty. Sometimes a girl will get into a dress, and you can tell by the look on her face that its "the one" the moment we slip it on. Sometimes a bride needs to try on a gown, consider it, compare it to many others, and then try it on again just to be sure that it is the best choice for her.

7. ONCE YOU FIND YOUR DRESS, STOP SHOPPING: The longer you shop for your wedding gown, the less fun and exciting it becomes. Most girls start getting confused after trying on about 8-10 gowns in the same store! The more dresses you try on, the more they start to blurr together, and the more it feels like a chore. Don't worry about all of the fun being over once you decide on a dress. There are a billion other aspects of your wedding that are still left to plan. Also, once you place an order for a gown, stick to your decision. DO NOT keep shopping around. There will always be beautiful pictures in magazines, but there is usually a pretty good reason that you chose the gown that you ordered. (Not to menion the fact that most bridal salons do not allow refunds or exchanges.)

Well loves, that is all the advice I have for today. I will probably post updates to this guide as time goes on, and I have more tidbits to share. Please let me know if you have any questions about shopping for your bridal gown. I really do love helping a bride in need :)